New Year Rambling

It’s the end of the year 2009 and many of us are in a reflective mood I believe. I am. In fact, I haven’t got out of my reflective mood in 2008 yet. My Muslim friends told me, according to Islam, time goes by much faster when the world is coming to an end. Perhaps the world is really coming to an end if those box office movies on the end of the world are indicative of the current collective consciousness of the world. 2012 is only two years away.

Time is flying and is flying much faster than usual. When I was in college, I remember, I dreaded time passing so slowly. It took a long time to finish one semester and I couldn’t wait to graduate so that I could enter the real world and be somebody. When I started lecturing, it took a long time to finish one semester and I remember how sick I was to see the same students again and again (I guessed my students shared the same feeling).

However, since 2000, one semester just flew by without anyone of us even aware of it. I hardly know my students let alone getting sick of seeing them over and over again. Each time when I announce in class when the next test is going to be, I will inevitably hear grumbling, “so soon ah?” And I am sure many of us still remember how we spent our 2008 New Year Eve like it was just yesterday. The Asian Tsunami in 2004 is as fresh as the taste of Christmas turkey a few days ago. So, perhaps, time flies should be replaced with time zooms!

So what am I saying here…well, I don’t really know. I am just a bit depressed because I know nothing is permanent in this world and time is zooming by me like the speed of light. I can’t do a thing to stop that and I hate the so called wise saying “treasure the moment” because I don’t want momentary but eternity.

I want to be young, healthy, and handsome eternally. I want to hold on to my darling eternally. I want to live eternally…I want my life, my world, the people who are in my life, to stay eternally. Then again, I will get bored after awhile because…eternity is boring. Imagine everything stays the same forever and ever? That’s why heaven does not make sense to me…in fact, heaven can be torturous, living with those Muslim and Christian fundamentalists in eternity?? That is hell!

This is my dilemma; I want eternity and yet eternity appears hellish to me. I asked a wise church man once when I was a naïve teenage boy, “What do we do in heaven?” He answered, “We praise and worship God there.” “Wouldn’t that be boring? Praising and worship God eternally? Wouldn’t God feels bored? Wasn’t that the reason started Him/Her to create this world because He/She was bored? What’s He/She going to do while listening to these crazy Charismatic people jumping, screaming and shouting with their electric guitars, drums etc eternally? I guess after awhile God would have to start creating again, wouldn’t he?” He couldn’t answer me.

My darling told me his New Year resolution this morning during breakfast (we are taking a break in Melaka) and I told him mine. But I know we seldom fulfill our New Year resolution because we usually set goals that are almost impossible to accomplish. We still set resolutions during New Year because we have hope that may be this year we will fulfill those resolutions. And because of this hope, we set our resolutions year after year though we seldom fulfill them. Guess hope is the answer.

But the Bible says, “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (I Corinthians 3:13) Looking at my darling, I realize love is the one that keeps me going and love is the one that gives me meaning in my life. Then I remember another verse in the Bible, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (I John 4:7-8)

This is my New Year realization; I am with God and God is with me because I love. Marrying my darling this year has brought me closer to God and growing deeper in God because marriage has caused me to love my darling much deeper than before. All over the over world people are looking for love and truly happy people are people who have found love. Perhaps, the Christians are right; we all need God because we all need love and God is love.

So, instead of a New Year resolution, I have a realization. God is love and the ones who love are born of God and know God. We do not need to be religious or dogmatic to be with God; we just need to give love and receive love. Now I understand why loving people are happy and contend people because these people are with God.

Faith, Hope, and Love…..the greatest is LOVE.

Have a Happy and Lovely New Year!

BLISS

A Fabulously Fabulous Dinner

The Gala Dinner organized by PT foundation was probably one of the best “annual” dinner I have attended. It was held on Nov 12 at PGRM building in Cheras. My darling and I went with the attitude of giving PT support but were pleasantly surprised and entertained by the event. My darling has been telling his friends what a great show they have missed because a few of them didn’t want to go to the dinner.

I think everybody enjoyed the dinner that night including the volunteers and the performers as well as, very obviously, the two marvelous MCs. Edwin and Nell did a great job in musing us. Though Edwin’s drag was amazing but Nell was also fabulous amid a majority gay audience. The performances were not perfect but they were entertaining, especially the three manly drag queens, I have to say they stole the show. Performers were sincere and it can tell that they were really enjoying themselves. But the performer who stole the limelight was a PT stuff, Jeremy. His Charlie’s Angels Lucy Liu’s style ‘dance’ with a group of underwear only hunks (well, kind of hunks) was, well, fabulously fabulous! And guess what, his parents were in the audience! Later I asked what his parents would think of his “performance”, he said, “I'll deal with that later.” What a cool guy!

I was especially touched by the award giving ceremony. Seldom, I care much about these award giving affairs but this one was inspiring. PT Foundation was giving out appreciation awards to people who have supported and still supporting the foundation for the past 20 years. What inspired and touched me was that the people who received the awards were from all walks of life and majority of them were ordinary people who just wanted to help. To use the words of my darling, “they are low key people”. The one award that impressed me was the award to JAWI. The representative to receive the award was a tudung lady who had no problem shaking a man’s hand. Later while we were leaving, I saw a group of JAWI people talking with Hisham outside the building. There was not only one lady representing JAWI; there were a group of them! Oh my, they sat through the whole dinner watching all the performances…and no police coming to shut down the party! Malaysia is not that hopeless after all.

My darling gave me a good description of the whole evening, “they are full of love”. Yes, that is probably the most apt description. I sincerely pray to the divine power that he/she will continue to watch over PT Foundation and bless all the work they are doing for the LGBT community as well as work in education and prevention of HIV/AIDS. Bravo PT!

BLISS

My HIV Journey

December 1 was World Aids Day. I should have blogged this on that day but I was too busy to blog on that day. Three days before I went to Sungai Wang to help out in the Red Carnival, the annual event by PT Foundation to celebrate World Aids Day. Not sure I should call it a celebration but if you were in Sungai Wang on the 28th and 29th, you would think it was a celebration.

My first encounter with HIV was when I was a student in the USA in the 1980s. It was the time when HIV first shown its ugly head to the world. Hundreds of people, mostly gay men, died of this horrible onslaught and a world-wide epidemic was inevitable. I was a bit indifferent toward the disease because I was a very good straight Christian boy at that time, trying my best unsuccessfully to date girls. However, I did find myself being drawn to the issues with the disease more and more for some obvious reasons.

When I was studying in the seminary (yes, I was such a good Christian boy to the extend I enrolled myself in an evangelical seminary after I finished my bachelor studies), my only gay friend at that time came to the seminary to visit me and told me he was HIV positive. It was a bit traumatic for him and also for me. It was the early 90s, the only drug we had was AZT. But I was informed enough to not to fear him. I even went canoeing and camping with him, sleeping in the same tent. Of course nothing sexual or that sort happened because I was a good straight Christian boy. But to be able to spend or be so close with a HIV + person in the early 1990s, especially coming from a conservative Christian background, was big thing. I was pretty proud of myself to be able to do that.

Later I went with this friend to watch the first gay movie I had ever watched, “Long Time Companion”, and cried. This was when I started to open up myself more and more to learn about the disease as well as my own sexual preference.

I have lost contact with this friend but I heard from another friend from the USA few years ago that he was still alive and well.

Returning to Malaysia in the mid nineties was a real challenge for me. I lived in the USA for nine years plus and never wanted to return. But only God knows why I decided to return and only God knows why I decided to explore the gay person in me after my return.

I got to know this organization called Pink Triangle. The first person I talked to in PT was Jack (unfortunately he passed away) who was also the first HIV positive person I knew in Malaysia. Later I was acquainted with another positive guy who died in England a few years later. I visited him in the hospital when he was very sick; it was the first time I saw a person inflicted with AIDS face to face.

Since then, I have been learning about HIV/AIDS and had a few close brushes with the virus by not practicing safe sex. Later I joined some training programs with Malaysia Aids Council and once in awhile participated in PT’s parties or events. My knowledge about HIV/AIDS was getting better but I did not get myself really involved with the issue, may be because I was not ready.

Two years ago I decided to go back to school to get a degree in counseling. At that time I also found out PT Foundation started the VCT (Voluntary Counseling, and Testing; it is an anonymous HIV testing program) program so I volunteered myself to become a VCT counselor. Being a VCT counselor, I have to provide counseling to clients before they go for their test and give them their result after the test. These two years of VCT counseling prove to be very challenging especially when I have to break the news of positive result to my client. I don’t think I will ever get used to that. It’s not a pleasant announcement.

And as if God knew what was going to happen. A few months into my VCT adventure, one of my closest friends was diagnosed HIV positive. A few months later, another close friend of mine was also diagnosed positive.

Alan (not his real name) called me and told me his comprehensive blood test in a clinic showed he was HIV positive and asked me what to do. He was very calm and told me in a matter of fact manner. I was of course shocked and saddened. Alan and I used to be close to the point we almost became lovers. I advised him to come to PT to have another test to confirm as well as to get the recommendation letter to go to the hospital.

Then Mike (also not his real name) called a few months later. “I’m HIV positive.” That was his first line after the “hallo”. I was so shocked that I didn’t know what or how to respond. I asked perhaps a stupid question, “When did you have sex?” He was laughing over the other side. It didn’t really matter when he had sex. He was positive and he wanted to know what to do next. Mike was also cool and calm about his HIV status.

About an hour later, Mike’s partner called and he was crying. I found out from him that they knew about the HIV status for a few days but for some reasons Mike waited awhile to call me. Well, same procedure, I advised Mike to come to PT for a test and get the letter to go to hospital for the follow up test. Mike and his partner have not had sex for awhile so the partner was not in danger of contracting HIV from Mike. But they are still partners and love each other a lot. It has been difficult but now they seem to have adjusted and life has in a sense back to normal.

Few days ago, I got a text message from an acquaintance telling me he had a friend who was just diagnosed to be HIV positive. He was deeply affected by it because a year ago he had a good friend was also diagnosed HIV positive.

HIV does not only affect the people who are infected with the virus but their family, spouses, partners and friends will also be affected. Finding out someone you love has HIV is not an easy matter to deal with. Besides the positive person who is living with HIV, his/her friends, partners and family are also living with the virus. And I hope one day steps will be taken to assist the positive people’s loved ones to cope with living positively.

So far, this is my journey with HIV. I am not sure what awaits me at the corner; I am also not sure whether I will personally be infected with the virus in the future. My darling and I talked about it before, in the case of one of us was infected with the virus. We told each other we will live with each other and continue to support each other. However, I am already living positively now. I am living with my positive friends and every positive client I encounter in VCT. I may not fully understand how a HIV + person feels and what he/she is going through. But I am affected by the virus and I know I am living positively as long as the virus is in my friends' bodies and continue invading other human bodies in this world.

BLISS

Inverted Sexism

The furore over Adam Lambert's kissing a man on stage (some are furious because of the simulated oral sex) prompted Lambert to defend himself by saying, "If it's gonna be edited, then in a way that's discrimination. I don't mean to get political, but Madonna, Britney and Christina (kissing at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards) weren't edited. It's a shame. Female entertainers have been risque for years. Honestly, there's a huge double standard."

Some responded that Lambert is no Madona which I agree. In term of fame, success, and career achievement, Adam is nothing like Madona, yet (we can't tell the future). However, his defense has brought up something I called "inverted sexism" which few people, I believe, are aware of.

My darling gave me his observation the other day; people, no matter men or women, like to look and act like men (male) more than women (female). Any gay man will proudly present his manly and macho boyfriend. He wouldn't be proud if his boyfriend is girly and feminine. Macho and manly men are usually hot items in the gay community and feminine or soft males are usually frown upon or ridicule. And the term "straight looking" is a popular self-description of any gay man who wants to give a good impression in their internet profile. I presume "straight looking" means "manly looking" since the stereotype of "gay looking" is basically "feminine looking".

To be a bottom in a gay world is also denote submission and feminine males are usually assumed to be bottom.

Transsexuals or drag queens are definitely no object of wet-dreams for gay men. In fact, one must have accumulated really bad karma to be born a TS this life, many would think.

In the lesbian world, butch lesbians are a common sight. These ladies want to behave like gentlemen or macho man. They wrapped their breasts so tightly to make them flat, wear man clothing and cut their hair short. My darling observes that it is a lot easier to spot a lesbian than a gay man, especially for the generally unexposed public, because they dressed and behave like men.

Lesbian scenes are common in straight porn but if there are gay scenes in a straight porn, it would be called "bi" porn. Americans have accepted a woman kissing another woman on main stream cinemas long ago but only recently we begin to see some man to man kissing on screen. There were kissing scenes between Willow and her girlfriend in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" which was shown about ten years ago. However it was inconceivable to have two men kissing on the small screen during that time. "Interview with a Vampire" had to snip off the scene where Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt lying together hugging in bed to avoid offending the American public. "Alexander" had to be implicit in portraying the gayness of the emperor and Achilles' lover in "Troy" became his cousin instead of his lover (though disputed).

Therefore, it has a lot of truth to what Lambert's claim of double standard because women are allowed to "mess-up" a bit, they are weak and irrational anyway.

For a woman to have short hair and dress in men clothing is considered cool. For a man to dress in woman clothing and put on make-up is considered a freak. My fellow lady colleagues are free to dress in men clothes to teach but for me, a male lecturer, if I wear a dress and make-up to go teach, probably I would not even make it through the college's gate.

It is funny to see a man dressed and behave like a woman and is a sure ingredient for comedy.

Gay issues are usually more prominent and fascinating than lesbian issues. Homosexuality is usually associated with images of two men kissing and hugging each other rather than two women kissing and hugging. And society generally is able tolerate lesbianism more than gayism.

In fact, watching two woman kissing, hugging and undressing each other is probably one of the greatest sexual fantasies for straight men. On the other hand, two men kissing, hugging and undressing each other...

What do all these tell us? Basically it is cool to be a man. It is cool to dress like a man and act like a man. Therefore it is absolutely ok for anyone, disregard of gender, to act and dress like a man because that is normal, that is what a human being is supposed to be.

However, it is shameful to act like a woman. It is a freak to talk, walk, dressed and behave like a woman. To be a woman, one has no choice to behave in such a way though it is not desirable. But for a man to talk, walk, dressed and behave like a woman would be the most abominable thing a man could do.

Men are supposed to lure, protect, control, and dominate women for women are the weaker sex; they are emotional and irrational. Women need men to survive.

Therefore, when two men decide to love each other like a man and a woman, the immediate thought of that will be one of the men is behaving like a woman. Because one of the men has to be weak, emotional and irrational to allow himself to be controlled and dominate by another man. And it is an abomination for a man to behave like a woman.

Anti-gayism goes much deeper that just "because the Bible says so". It is an "inverted sexism". We can't blatantly discriminate against women in our modern society because of the women rights movement but we pretty much still living in a chauvinistic male dominant world. So, since we couldn't make women to stay in the kitchen, we make them behave like us. Tell the world that behaving like men is cool and encourage women to act like men.

And feminists are striving to do the things that men do in the name of equality. I haven't encountered any feminine movement that encourage women to cook, sew, and have babies. Feminists will consider doing those things as "shameful". In fact, the feminists I know are busy doing "men" staff like climbing the cooperate ladder, struggling to be leaders, and learning how to fight like men.

Feminist movies are usually showing how women fight back injustices like men.

I have stopped laughing when I watch comedy where there are men dressed like women. I disallowed my male drama students to act like women (they love to do that, some kind of Freudian thingy, I guess) in order to provoke laughter from the audience. In a case of an all male group doing a love story, I will insist they make it into a gay love story instead of some guys trying to act like girls. Same principle apply to an all girl group.

I am caught. I am not sure how to correct this very basic mindset of our world that women are the weaker sex and inferior to men. And to behave or be like a woman is not something to be encouraged, especially if you are a man. However, unless this attitude toward women is changed, the struggle to gain equal recognition for the sexual minorities in the world remain an uphill task.

Because of the feminist movement in the past century, we now have many women doing men jobs. However, some of these women have become conservative men in women clothing. They are as aspired and vigor as those conservative men to battle against gay rights and some of them even encourage women to go back to their kitchen and submit to their men.



Of the top of my head, I thought of Sarah Palin.


Not really sure how to conclude this...lets continue to struggle and pray for all mankind...may the Good Lord have mercy on us all before 2012 (if that really happens).

BLISS

Missing the Point

Evangelical Christians in a certain great country are busy stopping homosexual marriage from being legalized. They fight very hard to make abortion illegal and at one time, they even voted in a born again Christian president who messed up the world big time. This group of Christians are very responsive if there is a gay singer about to win an idol competition, they will immediately jump into action to rally the crowd to make sure that this singer wouldn’t win the title. If there is a gay man being ordained as a bishop, they will immediately go into action to protest, petition or demonstrate to tell the world that God hates homosexuals. If there’s a female performer “accidentally” dropped her blouse and showed one of her breast, they will instantly rally the public to complain to the organizers of the “indecent” act. They demonstrate in front of abortion clinics to stop women from entering into the clinic and some even throw bombs into the clinics to attempt to demolish the clinic, without considering there are people in the clinic.

However, they allow their government going down the path of corruption and their economy going down the drain (4 or 5 trillion dollars in debt); their education deteriorated to the point where a high percentage of high school graduates cannot read nor write; poverty and gangsterism in the inner cities continues to thrive; drug addiction, alcoholism, rape, racism are rampant and their standing in the world plummet. And yet, none of these evangelical Christians spring into action to say, lets fight poverty in our inner cities; lets rally all the churches to donate money, give their expertise and talent to solve the racial problems in the country; lets us provide proper and objective sex education so that young people in society have healthy understanding of sex and know how to protect themselves from HIV infection. No, 10 years living in that country I had experienced none of those actions by the evangelical churches.

Instead, they blame those “sins” on the liberals, accusing them for their permissiveness that causes the deterioration in society. They say the solution is in the word of God without acknowledging their so called solution is only their school of interpretation of the word of God, not THE word of God. They don’t realize that it was their rigid conservatism, moral repressiveness, and narrow mindedness that started the sexual revolution in the sixties and seventies. They forgot what Jesus, the person whom they so passionately claimed as their Lord, taught about telling our brother to get rid of the saw dust in his eye but failing to see there is a plank in our own eye. These Christians basically forgot how to be the salt in society. All they know is to shove their own brand of faith into everyone’s throat, claiming that is the only truth approved by God.

I received the following from an email and I think Malaysia in going down the same path as the great country I used to live in. The difference is in that great country, the evangelical Christians are missing the point but here in Malaysia, the…I don’t even how to label this group of Muslims…are missing the point.

BLISS

PAS Youth wants to what?!

In their most recent move to annoy me to no end, PAS Youth has set up a program to go undercover as part of their anti-sex campaign.

Just hearing such a thing raised an interesting question in my head.

Will they be wearing drag along Lorong Haji Taib then?

I guess some Muslims would be thankful that someone is so focused on our salvation.

I'm not one of them, in fact, I'm adamantly against it

If sex is what people want and it's consensual and safe, then why not?

It's obviously keeping them off the streets.

Pre-marital sex is not a large morality issue in this nation. Neither are concerts. Rempits, on the other hand, are a huge criminal, social and moral issue. Encouraging people to switch to environmentally friendly policies are a huge social and moral issue as well.

If PAS youth truly wants to help the Muslim community, they should start by doing something more constructive instead of this move to simply prove they are holier-than-thou individuals.

And if PAS wants to win over the federal government in two years time, this idea should be shot down in its birth, or face a backlash of the more moderate and liberal populous of Malaysia.

Hafidz Baharom

When a man kisses a man

Adam Lambert's performance in 37th Annual American Music Awards was pleasantly shocking. Then of course the conservatives are crying "disgusting" and "perversion" now but if one is familiar with Madona's videos or concerts, what Adam did was just a "copy" of that type of performances. What created the boo boo baa baa is mainly because, I think, Adam is a man, more specifically, a gay man.

It's perfectly ok to have lesbian sex scenes in the straight porns but you wouldn't find any gay sex scenes in the straight porns (if they are they will be labeled as bi-sexual porns). So it's ok or tolerable for two women to kiss (Madona and Britney, they are straight anyway) but when a man kisses a man in the public, all hell break lose.

That was what Adam did on stage at the performance. I want to yell "BRAVO!" to Adam. He is probably the first male performer I know of who dare to express his sexuality on stage, especially on national TV. I hope he has started a trend that will eventually make men kissing men a mainstream thingy in the public.

However, it's very dangerous for a man to kiss another man. The kiss that changed and turned the world upside down was the kiss between two men in the Garden of Gethsemane about 2000 years ago. Perhaps that's the reason why when a man kisses a man the whole world will tremble.

Bravo! Adam Lamber! Keep it up!

BLISS

Journey

Two men are traveling together along a road. One of them believes that it leads to the Celestial City, the other that it leas nowhere. But since this is the only road there is, both must travel it. Neither has been this way before , therefore neither is able to say what they will find around each corner.During their journey they meet with moments of refreshment and delight, and with moments of hardship and danger.

All the time one of them thinks of his journey as a pilgrimage to the Celestial City.He interprets the pleasant parts as encouragements and the obstacles as trials of his purpose and lessons in endurance, prepared by the king of that city and designed to make him a worthy citizen of the place when at last he arrives.

The other, however, believes none of this, and sees their journey as an unavoidable and aimless ramble. Since he has no choice in the matter, he enjoys the good and endures the bad. For him there is no Celestial City to be reached, no all-encompassing purpose ordaining their journey; there is only the road itself and the luck of the road in good weather and in bad.

They do not entertain different expectations about the coming details of the road but only about its ultimate destination. Yet, when they turn the last corner, it will be apparent that one of them has been right all the time and the other wrong… (John Hick)

Jesus is a Human Being

Jesus is a human being. Imagine a Nelson Mandela Jesus, a Mother Teresa Jesus, a Dalai Lama Jesus … when we imagine the human Jesus on earth, he could be any of these people.

These people don’t evoke fear. They inspire compassion, justice, equality … and people will have very little hesitation to go up to these people to present their problems, their short comings, their weaknesses and their needs because they know they wouldn’t be rejected or judged.

Imagine a gay person going up to Mother Teresa to tell her that he is gay. What would the mother’s response? “You filthy dirty smelly worthless sinner! Get behind me!”???? I doubt it.

Imagine a transsexual going up to Nelson Mandela to shake his hand. Will he say, “Go away, you rubbish! I shall not shake nor have any fellowship with degenerates like you!”??? I guess not.

Imagine a prostitute going up to the Dalai Lama and say “Bless me, your holy one.” Will he say, “No! You are beyond any kind of blessing.”??? Impossible!

Jesus as a human being is a good human being. He loves sinners. He accepts sinners. He dines with sinners. Jesus in the Gospels loves dinning with people, especially the outcast and the sinners. Having a good meal with people he loved was so important that he instituted the Holy Communion during his last supper for us to remember him. Such is the humanity of Jesus. He loves parties, having a good time, and a good meal with people. He loves people and being with people.

Jesus is a human being and he is a good human being. He is the combination of all the good and great people we know. He is Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama, Bishop Tutu, Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Vivekananda, and anyone you know who has sacrificed him/herself for the good of humanity.

These people don’t evoke fear. They inspire compassion, justice, equality …

Jesus is a good human being who accepts and loves the sexual minorities. Christianity may have rejected non-heterosexuals but Christ hasn’t.

BLISS

Sex with Animals

November 20, 2009 (2 am, Fri)

Just done reading Rev Dr Yap Kim Hao's, a Singaporean pastor, "Reflections on Sexual Ethics". It is a working paper he has written to stimulate discussion. So far no response on the web group he posted the paper, I wonder why. However I do like to say something about sexual ethics, especially on human animal sex.

I remember few weeks ago I attended a counselor training session and there was a sexologist from Singapore (yes, Singapore again) talking about sex. One of the issues discussed which I responded strongly was sex with animals. Many argued there was nothing wrong with having sex with animals because it was an individual taste and being liberal and tolerant people, we should respect the individual's freedom to choose. (I was pleasantly surprised how progressive we Malaysians are).

But what about the animals? Do those animals have their rights to choose? I'm a liberal person and even agree that incest is kind of ok if it happens between two consenting adults. Yes, the key word here is consent. How do we know or get the animal to consent to have sex with us? Up till now I haven't watched a single human and animal porn. According to what I was told, the animals in the porn seem to enjoy the sex. They may have consented. However, just the thought of human having sex with animals has really disgusted me. This is why I refused to watch any human and animal porn.

If the question of consent is answered by seeing the animals are actually enjoying the sex with human then there is nothing wrong with having sex with animals. No one gets harm and everyone have fun, including the animals.

For the longest time I believe that if two consenting adults (over 18) agree to have sex with each other and derive joy and fulfillment from the sex act, it is ok. However they want to do it is none of my concern as long as they are adults, consented to do it and there is no physical harm or danger and practice safer sex, then that's fine. That's why I even grudgingly accept that incest can be ok if it happens between two consenting, matured adults.

However, this human and animal sex thing really put my liberalism to the test. I am absolutely disgusted and sickened by the idea but I don't want to let that compromised my objective ethical judgment. Perhaps, I may use mutuality to argue against human and animal sex. You see, sex should also be mutual. If one party has coerced and manipulated the other party to have sex then even the sex can be enjoyable during the process, it is not mutual. Animals have no freedom of choice like humans therefore the sex they have with humans are not mutual. They may have enjoyed the sex but they are coerced or manipulated into doing it with humans.

Therefore I now declare, having sex with animals is wrong. It is a sin in the eye of God!! But I'll still love you if you are having sex with your dog because we should love the sinners and hate the sin. I will pray for you and your dog.

The good Rev has listed guidelines for ethical sexual behavior. I now list them here for reference for anyone who is making an ethical sexual decision.

1. Do no unjust harm. 2. Free consent of partners. 3. Mutuality. 4. Equality. 5. Commitment. 6. Fruitfulness.
7. Social justice.

BLISS

I'm married!

Nov 20, 2009 (Fri, 1.40am)

Yes! Finally I created my first blog, ever! Why? Because I got married. Yes! I'm married on November 14, 2009. Something I thought I never would do but I did it!

Still remember the morning I got the sms from him, "why don't we just get married?" And I answered, "why not?" And the rest was history.

The preparation of the ceremony prompted a few ferocious fights; one was before a good friend of his. I wonder what he thought of me or our relationship after that frightening experience. But he showed up in the ceremony, happily helping us and congratulating us. Guess his confidence in our relationship had returned when he saw after all the fights and heartaches, we still wanted to marry to each other.

I finally came out to my family, all because of the wedding. And the response..."we already knew, just waiting for you to tell us." Majority of them showed up at the ceremony. Those who didn't show were because of prior engagement; all had to do with work. It was a pleasant surprise for me. I knew they will be ok with my gender preference but I had never expected such support from them.

As for my darling, none of his family had shown. He told me to say that his family was very conservative so it was better that they didn't show. And it didn't seem to bother him at all seeing 90% of my family members were there but none of his shown. He cried right before the ceremony start, not because of the no showing of his family but he was so excited to marry me.

Some asked, can get married meh in our country like that? Well, depends on how you define marriage. My darling kept saying to people before the ceremony, "we are already married but we just want a ceremony to share with friends and family." To us, being married is an attitude. It's in our hearts, not on a piece of paper.

Marriage basically consists of two people who are deeply in love with each other and couldn't live without each other therefore they don't really have a choice but to be with each other.

Besides the bad English and the unromantic expression, I think I have basically defined what the spirit of marriage is. Anything out of that definition is not a marriage even though society and law recognize it as a marriage, it's just a zombie marriage, without the soul.

I do have to say after the ceremony, both of us feel different for each other. My darling says we love each other more deeply which I think he is right. I also feel free. No longer I need to "hide" from my family. In fact, they have accepted him as part of the family and my sister was talking about us giving ang pao during this coming Chinese New Year...oh well....

BLISS