After reading Pang's thoughts published on Malaysiakini (and elsewhere), I think I have to agree with one of the comments in response, namely "I really do not believe the average Malaysian is homophobic".
I am older than Pang and I come from a severely Christian / Protestant background, from a baby (not even a convert at an older age). Christianity has always been a part of my life.
Yet, at the age of 11, I accepted that I could be bisexual, and by the age of 13, I knew I was gay. Not once was there ever a conflict with my faith. Of course, by the time I was in my teens, I kept away from church, not because of Christ, but because of the people. If I may be 'authentic', in my eyes (and this is something I still believe to a lesser extent) church people are boring, square, narrow minded and have little imagination. I guess I instinctively recognised this when I was younger.
At the age of 13, I became friends in 2ndary school with a guy who became my best friend. He too was gay. We'd discuss Dynasty and the scenes with Stephen (the gay son). He'd read Danielle Steele and tell me about the the gay son who invariably appeared in the storylines. We'd ogle boys, and he conquered the school. I would cover up for him during recess, when he was 'busy' with a hockey player or with a softball player etc. All this took place in the mid to late 1980s.
We'd have crushes and infatuations and eventually, we pulled in a 3rd friend, whom we both knew had to be gay. And he was. After SPM, when we were 17, we crashed into Blue Boys and met so many wonderful people. Those were fun times.
Life then was all about cruising, because there was only Blue Boys. In pre-Uni, we ended up in the same college and continued our escapades. We fell in love with men, we had plenty of sex, but we eventually expanded our wings, with me making trips to Europe, and our 3rd friend eventually moving to the USA.
All the while, mind, I prayed. I read the Bible. It seems odd to me even now that some people keep on saying that the Bible doesn't allow homosexuality. By the time I was 21, I had read the Bible, from Genesis all the way to Revelations, in Good News (easy start), King James, New King James, NIV and finally the Catholic Bible (the Apocrypha is so cool!).
My best friend and I moved to the UK and our 3rd friend, as mentioned, ended up in the USA. Now and then, we'd make trips back to KL. I was delighted to find more and more venues popping up. But my best friend wasn't.
In fact, along the way, I found there are many older gay men who are not happy that we have plenty of other gay venues. They are not happy that we don't have to hide (we don't really, if you think about it). Why? Because they liked the way things were. Gay life was forced underground, and that lent it a sense of danger, a sense of naughtiness, who knows? Up to now, you'll find older 'veterans' unhappy about the change.
Now, in our 30s, the three of us have grown apart. My closest friend is now anti current state-of-affairs and living the life of cruising and picking up boys at bus stops. In fact, he wasn't happy at all about my union. That was 'joining the straight world', treason to the 'gay world'. My friend in the US has become a militant pro-gay activist. I guess the LGBT in the USA have to be this way, considering what they're fighting. And I? Well, I have settled down happily, and I couldn't ask for a better spouse than BLISS.
And these are the journey of three people.
Of course, I knew people and heard of stories of their families kicking out their children because they were gay. But I also knew of parents who kicked out their daughters for unwanted pregnancies. I also knew of families who abandoned their children for no reason. To my mind, this has nothing to do with homosexuality.
It has to do with PARENTING. And the social pressure for people to get married and have children even if they aren't even proper human beings. How can they be parents?
So what's the issue about this whole issue?
To my mind:
1. Everyone has their own journey. I didn't go through what Pang went through. But I never immersed myself in church life. The church can be a dangerous place.
2. Even the boring narrow-minded unimaginative people in church have their own journeys. Some make it out of church alive, and learn how dangerous church is. Some don't. Some convert to other religions, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. The church attracts broken people. And society is full of broken people. Broken people make even more broken people. This needs to be addressed, but I'm not sure how...
3. The reaction of people in response to situations depends on their journey. I actually don't believe Malaysians are homophobic. Some dumb churches are, especially the hyper fundamentalist or charismatic types, usually exported out from the USA. The lesson? Don't go to a US-based church. My recommendation - try the Eastern Orthodox church.
4. A response which works in one country does not necessarily work in another country. Before sexual rights, there is the ISA. There is the OSA. There is the Sedition Act and the offence of criminal defamation. If you take these away, fighting for sexual rights will be that much easier. Throughout my writing here, I have committed sedition against the church countless number of times!
5. To crush out the imagination is to crush out one of God's greatest gifts. That's the blasphemy taking place in churches today.
And those are my rambling thoughts...
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